Did you know?

My husband and I are always trying to one-up each other in the "did you know?" stakes. We take great pride in sourcing and delivering wonderful facts that we pray the other one doesn't already know so that we can surprise one another with our apparent talent, intelligence and wit. Half the time we have heard them on the radio or read them in a book, journal, newspaper or an online source which also means so have a million other people but that doesn't dampen our attempts at trying to be as smart, witty and intelligent as often as possible.

Since the invention of Google which according to Google started out in January 1996 by two uni students, delivering information to all corners of the globe has never been easier. Finally we know what happens when you try and pop popcorn with a handful of mobile phones, nothing, that's right nothing, it's a hoax and just when you thought you would never be able to find the time difference between the Bahamas Turks and Caicos Islands and Sydney you now do and let me tell you, there was a time when I needed to know the difference all the time. Information, pictures, people, businesses and buildings are all connected and the information flows like wildfire and I love it. I Google things all the time, even my name, just to see if I have been linked to something weird and wonderful and amazing since the last time I Googled myself. But beyond childish nonsense of such a nature, Google continues to broaden my knowledge and my imagination.

In this post I have tried to find some useful facts, some interesting ones that you probably or at least I am hoping you haven't heard before because lets face it, I am tired of hearing the same old ones repeated time and time again. I have also tried to debunk some purely by investigating a bit harder, digging a bit deeper and asking the question "really, do right handed people really live longer than left? How is that possible? Why? Huh? Show me the figures!"

If I think of something I Google it, you never know when you might need to know that fact in the future, how you might slip it into a conversation and why sit there wondering unless wondering is your thing. Go hence forth to Google and open your mind to the many weird and wonderful facts available to you. Let's hope that even a small few of you find them as interesting as my husband and I do, that they spark some sort of conversation and make you giggle at Google along the way. If you know some that you want to share just comment below or contact me via the link above.


Note: Just to be a Debbie Downer I must put a disclaimer here. These statistics and facts I have below are drawn from the Internet, some I have been told, some I could have quite possibly dreamt of in my sleep and are actually hideously incorrect, others from print media, some from TV. So...take them with a grain of salt and don't go adding them into your next uni essay or child's school project without first checking that what I have checked is in fact correct. This is purely just for fun. 

Happy fact finding my friends.

1. A prune is a dried plum. I know! Amazing!

2. The air temperature inside a bushfire is around 800 degrees Celsius. Hot hey! It gives a whole new meaning to bush fire season and I make no jokes about that, it is not a laughing matter. Truly!

3. Geographically the US is larger but Australia is approximately the same size at the contiguous states. The picture below explains it all.
However, the population of Australia is about 21 million compared to the nearly 300 million people populating the US of A. Now, this might be a bit of those "ahh, really dumbass moments" but I am not geographically minded, in fact you'd be disgusted if I told you how atrocious my geography really is and I blame it all on my year 7 geography teacher who in all honestly was a flat out bitch. That aside, I still find this fact amazing. After all, I have such grandiose ideas of the enormity of the States, that such a country should be far bigger and wider the Australia, but apparently not. See, terrible at geography aren't I?

4. Australia is approximately 23 times the size of Vietnam yet Vietnam has more than 4 times the population of Australia. Now, next time you complain about having to touch shoulders with someone on the train or brush past someone in the supermarket shopping isle think about what it is like for the Vietnamese. Vietnam also holds the record for the most broken bones in all countries in the world due to their large number of traffic accidents. According to statistics taken from a source published in 2009 there were 30 million motorbikes in Vietnam with traffic accidents causing the most deaths for people aged between 18-45, 80% of which are attributed to motorbikes. Causing so much devastation, traffic accidents in Vietnam are often referred to as natural disasters.

This map shows the size of Vietnam in comparison to West Leederville in Western Australia. (Vietnam in pink)








5. A 1966 Volvo 1800S and its one owner Irv Gordon of East Patchogue, New York, USA owns the Guinness world record for highest mileage in the same vehicle he has been driving for more than 45 years. As of July 2012, the car is 34,000 miles shy of the 3 million mile mark (4,828,032 km). To put this into perspective the circumference of the earth is 40,075km and the distance between Earth and the Moon, about 360,000km so essentially he could have driven to the moon and back 6.5 times over. The car was destined to be a lemon. With considerable quality control issues and poor sales the 1800S was designed to aid Volvo's entry into the sports car market after their previous models attempt only sold 68 cars.

6. I recently heard that renewable energy in the form of wind farms is the primary cause of bird and bat deaths in Australia. Well, take Spain as an example. According to Spain's Ornithological Society, its main bird conservation charity the country's 18,000 wind turbines kill up to an estimated 18 million birds and bats a year. Ouch. However we can't blame wind farms as much as one would like it, it is actually glass windows. Glass kills more birds than any other human related factor.

7. A hurricane releases more energy in 10 minutes, than all the world's nuclear weapons combined

8. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match

9. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. Wrong! Stop worrying lefties, it was proved to be based on a floored analysis and groundless.

10. Australia has over 6,000 species of flies, about 4,000 species of ants, and about 350 species of termites. Dear God!

11. The roof of the Sydney Opera House weighs more than 161 000 000kg's (161,000 tons)

12. There are as many chickens on earth as there are humans. We can thank KFC and McDonald's for that one.

13. Former president Bill Clinton only sent 2 emails in his entire 8 year presidency. Busy man.

14. There are 200,000,000 insects for every one human. Why God, Why?

15. 250 people have fallen off the Leaning Tower of Pisa

16. The infamous “I feel lucky” button is nearly never used on Google. However, in trials it was found that removing it would somehow reduce the Google experience. Users wanted it kept. It was a comfort button yet only 1% of Google users actually every click on it. A study found that the button actually costs Google $110 million dollars a year as it bypass's all advertising on the search engine results page taking you directly to the first search result at the top of the list.

17. Did you know that honey can contain the Clostridium botulinum bacteria which if ingested by children can result in botulism which is a rare but serious illness.
18. The reason why women’s dress shirt buttons are on the left and men’s on the right is because when buttons were first used during the Victorian period maids used to dress the ladies, and since the maids put on their shirts the buttons were put on the servants right side, hence the women’s left.

19. The most expensive shoes in the world are ruby slippers located in Harrods in London, which cost $1.6 million, has a full time security guard. The shoes are made from platinum thread and has 642 rubies in them. It took over 700 hours to produce the shoe.

20. While awake, your brain generates between 10 and 23 watts of power. That's enough energy to power a dim light bulb.

Baby in a big bed.

My baby girl recently graduated to her big girl bed and I reclaimed my bedroom as my own.

I did a little tally in my head the other day and calculated that we had shared our bedroom with our children for almost 18 months. I had enjoyed almost every minute of that time and was always conscious not to push them into their own room too quickly. They would only be so small and able to sleep in their beautiful little bassinet next to my side of the bed for such a short period of time in their big long wonderful lives and I wanted to cherish every single last minute of it. I knew that once they went into their own room the bassinet would be packed away and an end of an era in their lives and mine would be upon us. I loved everyday that I woke up, I was greeted with big beautiful eyes looking up at me begging for me to gaze down on them and say good morning. That in the depths of the night all I needed to do was slip my arm out from under the doona and rock the swinging basinette to resettle them back to sleep and that if they needed to be fed they were right next to me and within arms reach.

Leading up to my baby's move I noticed that she was getting more and more unsettled in the late evening right before we were about to go to bed. She would wake up and cry with intensity, clearly distressed and unhappy. I had been so used to her waking at around 9-10pm that I just assumed she was doing what she normally did but that teething was causing her some pain and hence the unsettled screams. Most nights were drawn out and by 11:30pm my husband and I were a wreck, we went from toys, to play gym to singing back to toys to occupy her but she was terribly unhappy and once my most favourite part of the day, getting into bed, flicking through crap on foxtel or playing with my iphone before I went to sleep was abandoned as we tried desperately to keep our little girl happy, then to try and settle her in her bassinet by rocking, patting and shushing her to sleep. Some days it would take more than an hour to get her to nod off. It was without doubt her most unsettled period of the day. Once asleep she slept through but getting her there was becoming harder with each day that passed.

Now my little girl, she's sleeps like a rock, put her in her bassinet, few little coo's later and she is asleep. Self settle, no worries! I have never really had an issue with her sleep except during growth spurts but I quickly learnt to just go with the flow and not let those periods worry me, if she didn't want to sleep then I wasn't going to force her. Night time though was strange and in the back of my mind I kept wondering whether us being in the room while she was either asleep or trying to go to sleep just disturbed her sleeping mojo. We tried excruciatingly hard to keep quiet when we went to bed, we even took turns sitting next to the bassinet ready to rock her back to sleep while we got changed and brushed out teeth in case we woke her but so many things were against us.

First of all, our floor boards, they creek and you'd be forgiven for thinking that each step is going to send you falling through the first floor the noise is so shrill. We have even tracked a path around the joins so that we can avoid making noise. My husband had to abandon getting ready or showering in the ensuite boys bathroom and took up residency in mine which I was none to happy about, it's a girl bathroom, no boys allowed, but truthfully, it was becoming so very difficult to keep quiet and not wake the baby. Add to that she really was fast outgrowing the bassinet, her little head just a centimeter or two shy of the top but worst of all I was petrified of having the two kids sleeping right next to each other when at any time either one of them could wake up and having a crying fit which the big boy did on random occasions after a night mare or when he wasn't well and the thought of then having to resettle two children and not just one was sending me grey. The logistics were like trying to understand mathematical chemistry. In the end I resided with the fact that the kids were most likely going to keep each other awake or wake each other up for the rest of the time they lived together under one roof together and that getting hooked up on the what ifs wasn't worth my time.

I decided, although a little reluctantly, that I would trial her sleeping in her bassinet in her room when the big boy was at daycare so I could attend to her when she woke with the aim to try and resettle and comfort her with no disruptions and ample time on my hands. I was aware that for some babies the move to a new room and a new bed can be terribly disruptive, I had after all experienced a bit of difficulty moving my son to his room for the first time and had the memory not far in my mind. And then she got sick, and then I got sick and then my son and then my husband. It wasn't the right time. 2 weeks passed and she was still in our room. It all came to a head one afternoon when she was a bit all over the place but I really needed to get dressed, clean our room and change the sheets on the bed. She just needed to sleep somewhere else in peace and without the floor boards from hell creaking and the sound of sheets flapping around and clothes being hauled across the room. I dragged the bassinet to her big girl room, tucked her in, put on the white noise nice and loud and left. 2 minutes later asleep!

Huh? How did that happen so quickly? I thought it was a fluke, maybe she was just really tired, I was after all expecting a massive protest, new smells, new sights, new sleeping environment, nothing. Next sleep the same and the next and the next. While I dragged the bassinet back into our room for one more night sleeps not wanting to enforce too much change too quickly I decided that I would test her out at night on the second day of operation Big Girl Bedroom Change-Over. 5 minutes, fast asleep and wait for it, she slept from 6pm till 630am. Not one noise came from her room. The next night one wake up, one sook at 4am but back to sleep with a shush and a pat and awake at 8am. The night after that 12 hours back to back, not a noise.

I had seen enough to know I had seen it all. Clearly she was begging for some quiet, dark, white noise filled space to go to sleep in. Sleeping in our room, even though dimly lit was enough to keep her awake, our movements and the barely audible tv in the background, it was simply rousing her out of her sleep when she was clearly wanting to and capable of sleeping through. She had after all been sleeping through from day one for at least 8-10 hours, she was just ready to show us how she could do a 12 hour sleep without batting an eyelid.

I was over the moon to have my room back but more than anything I has happy that my little girl was happy to be in her own room without one single fuss in the world. Always wanting to strike while the iron is hot I decided to push my luck and see how she would go in her own bed. She had such a beautiful cot, I had made her a patchwork quilt, there was an abundance of bamboo cotton sheet sets she had been given for her baby shower just waiting to be put to good use so I made up her bed, pulling all the sheets way way down so her little tiny body would be covered just enough to keep her warm but not to swallow her up and decided that I would give it a whirl. I popped her in her bed and decided that seeing as she was capable of self settling that I would just do what I normally do, put her in her swaddle suit, pop her into her bed and tell her I am going out and leave her. She slept!

I was so amazed that I checked on her three times while she had a nap. Despite the sound and motion sensor monitor I just couldn't pick my jaw up off the floor and believe that she had gone from sleeping in our room, to sleeping in her own room in her bassinet, to sleeping in her cot all in just two days and then sleeping through the night every night bar one and for 12 hours at that. WTF! Amazing, blessed and a huge sense of relief came over me.

Last night we dismantled the bassinet and I wrapped it up to put it away. My husband told me that we can now sell it if we like, we can buy another one for the next baby (we'd like to have another baby down the track but not any time in the near future) I said "are you crazy? I'm not that ready to end an era" I can do the big girl bedroom but I will hang onto the bassinet and hope that it can stay tucked under my sons cot until another baby comes along and then I'll think about selling. For now, sweet dreams my children.

It's not all toys and change tables in this house- REVISED

One of my most favourite things to do is decorate my home. I am constantly looking for new ways to bring life, colour and character to the furniture, walls and all the rooms and living spaces. I get asked all the time by friends and family where I get my inspiration and ideas, where I purchased pieces from and ways in which to keep things clutter free and organised. However on one of my many hundred daily trips up and down our steep flight of stairs I stopped and had a really good look at our lounge room. I was saddened by its appearance. At one point it was my most favourite place next to my bed in the whole house. It was once a warm and inviting room, the heart of the home, lots of scatter cushions thrown on our red leather lounge, flowers I had picked out every Saturday morning at 6am from Flemington flower markets sat next to the TV and on the coffee table lined up in matching vases, books on the glass side table and a scratch free, mark free, pristine shiny lacquered coffee table.

Fastforward a few years and the room was now bare. The cushions had been removed as I couldn't be bothered trying to soak off finger prints and snot smears from dirty little fingers and noses that had used them in a similar fashion as one would a wet wipe or old tea towel, the coffee table was probably more aptly used as fire wood, it had the deepest of gouges in its surface, every edge had been scratched from the dogs nails as it jumped up and down on it hunting for food, every corner had a kiddie bumper on it to prevent the corner from gouging out a childs eye or making an indent in their forehead. Every corner of the 8 sharp square wood handles on the draws also too had a rubber corner. This one coffee table was covered in a total of 20 soft kiddie safe bumper rubber corner thingies and I'm not exagerating. It looked atrocious not to mention the top 4 corners had been glued, reglued and then glued down again with brown liquid nails and then screwed into the wood to keep them in place. I should also make mention that the glass side table I touched on above, it found a new home out the front of the house on the grass medium strip with a "free take me" sign. Within minutes it was gone. It was only a few weeks later that I realised that it too was actually a replica (at least I bloody hope it was) of a quite expensive moulded glass side table. I pray that it wasn't an original as it was a present/hand me down. Oops!

That same day I set out to bring my house back to life. My son was now at the age that we could have a discussion about the use of cushions as snot rags so I went forth to the internet and bought a whole heap of new ones and two big poufs to bring colour back to the room. I picked out browns and reds and blues and pulled out a few old cushion covers from my large stash to mix it up. I got a black permanent texta and went around and coloured in all the gouges and little paw/nail marks in the coffee table so that they weren't as obvious (don't! I know!) and added a new mat under the table too. As much as I toyed with the idea of throwing the thing from a cliff it was the perfect height for my son to use to put toys on so I just sucked it up and told myself that maybe in 20 years time when the kids had moved out I would buy myself a new coffee table.

Over the next 6 months the updates spread through the house. We had made it through the stage where crawling and first walking toddlers pull down everything in sight and must inspect, chew, ingest and destroy every single one of your precious possessions and even though baby would eventually start on her own path of destruction I was tired of the appearance of my home. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't about to go and put a whole array of glass votive candles and vases back on the coffee table or my crystal Royal Doulton matching photo frames that were a wedding gift from my maid of honour in arms reach, but what I did do was invest in a few child friendly pieces.

First was the mother of all toy wardrobe/chest/combo's that would house the growing plethora of toys we had accumulated and gave them the respect they deserved by grouping like toys and sets together. I proped colourful childrens books ontop of the tiers along with additional buckets to house the big chunky toys that didn't fit in the toy bins. I made a soft area for bean bags, poufs and pillows in front of the TV that would separate the open plan lounge area into sections along with large foam mats and rearranged the lounge room a little to accomodate the changes. With just a few dollars and a few hours down the lounge room was already looking better and I started to like it even more than I did pre-children. It resembled the home of a family now and that bought warmth to my heart.

Below are these updates in photo form as well as where to find most of the items you see. I hope they inspire you to make cheap and cheerful updates to your home if and when needed.

These cushions would have to be my most favourite from my collection. I am cushion obessed. Cushions can change the whole feel of a room and every few months I mix up the colours and patterns or go out and buy some more to keep up with cushion trends and welcome in new seasons- neutrals for Winter and bold striking patterns for Summer. I never spend more than about $20 on each. First of all the material required to make a cushion is less than a half a meter for a standard 40cmx40xm cushion and unless you're buying cushions made from French silk then paying $100 just for the cover is daylight robbery. This doesn't necessarily mean that I make cushion covers often, though I should and I could, it just means that with material costs and labour no cushion cover should really cost you more than $20-$40. 

From L-R

1. Ikea Sanela Grey floor cushion cover $16
2. Ikea Kajsa Trad Black & White floor cushion cover $15
3. Old Ikea cover- not available anymore
4. eBay Bird Cage cushion cover $14.99
5. Old Ikea cover- not available anymore though they have loads of the same size small rectangular cushion covers in stock that are just as funky.

I get asked about this masterpiece here all the time. We have toys in every single room of our house including the bathroom and the laundry. If you're not careful they will take over your life let alone your house. Prior to the addition of this toy wardrobe we had all the toys in the green plastic tubs you can see here. Small toys in one bin, medium in another, large toys in a box under the stairs but come Christmas those bins were as useless as tits on a bull.

We started off with the the three tiered section on the right and added the two other single upright sets as the collection grew. Altogether it cost approx $440 and is worth its weight in gold. It is pretty pricey but buying the three individual sections over about 12 months meant that the $440 didn't have to be dished out straight away. Beyond housing the toys in an orderly fashion- duplo with duplo, tool set with tool set pieces, car and trucks altogether it has helped my son play with one toy at a time rather than pulling everything out at once and making a right mess. He has learnt to put things back where they came from and knows where a particular toys is rather than rumaging through trying to find a needle in a lego haystack. I have used chalkboard labels on the front of each box which I bought from Bright Star Kids online. You use a soft chinagraph pencil which wipes off with a wet wipe when you need to change the label info.
(prices for unit with boxes shown in link minus lids)

1. Trofast combo $181
2. Trofast single combo 91cm $107
3. Trofast single combo 145cm $152

On the left are my poufs. At first the idea was a purely decorative one but they have since come in handy as additional seating for when we have lots of friends and family over and are currently propping up my feet while sitting on the lounge. The jigsaw mats are from Bunnings and have saved the floor boards more than I know from being more scratched than they already are, more scatter cushions and some bean bags for chillin out on infront of the TV.

1. Poufs- Ezibuy.com.au
2. Mats- Bunnings- Polytuf Foam Mat with holes set of 4- $14.90 though last time I bought these they were on special for $9.
3. Cushions- Ezibuy.com.au
4. Left beanbag- kmart (looked way better in the picture on the packet than it does in real life but you get what you pay for right?)
5. Right beanbag- Mojo kids beanbag from eBay which cost about 3 times the price of the large beanbag on the left but this is the real deal in kids beanbags and could most likely withstand a nuclear bomb it is so well made. They are currently being sold for $47.90 which is a right deal and a lot less than what I paid a year ago.

Cute little tent from Ikea- Cirkustalt $29.99

I love, love, love my green apples in a vase. I look at them every day and smile. They have bought new life to my kitchen. I stole this idea from Dan and Danni off The Block. It seemed that once they did it everyone else on the show did too and therefore I had to follow suit. The apples aren't looking their finest here, I need to update with some fresher of the Granny Smith variety, but if you don't dig green you could do any fruit that lasts a few weeks like lemons, red apples, oranges or even fill it with some old school match boxes- my mum and dad did this a long long time ago and had match boxes from nearly every corner of the globe back when smoking was cool or coloured rubber bands or anything colourful that catches the eye.

1. Ikea Bladet clear glass vase $9.99
2. Apples $3/kg 

No boring kettle and toaster here, these are my red Morphy Richards toaster and kettle from way back. Morphy Richards now have a new range of colours but me personally, I'm not a fan. I'd much prefer to hold out for the Breville lime kettle and toaster combo below to hit our shores.

My photo wall is the focal point of our house. I have friends and family who have visited our place a hundred times over that still stand and stare at the wall for hours. I regularly change the photos with both recent and old prints and then even I stand there for hours looking over them all.

To do this properly I strongly suggest laying out all the frames onto the floor in the design you want and taking a photo of what you decide on. For this job we went with Wall Mates from Bunnings that drill into the gyprock, I just don't trust those 3M sticky tabs to hold anything other than feathers. This does mean that there are about 300000 holes in the wall as there was a few misalignments along the way but you can patch, sand and paint later on. I bought most of the frames from Hot Dollar. The 4x6 were between $3-$7 and the larger ones ranged from $9-$15. I reused a lot of old ones and have swapped them over and updated them over the past few years. To fill in the gaps I have put up trinkets, some of my sons art pieces and the shell body of some sea urchins I collected down at La Perouse many moons ago.

This did take a bit of balls to do. I was concerned about what the wall would look like when the frames came down and what happened if I got bored with it? Well, the wall will look terrible after but like I said, it can be patched and sanded and painted and although it will never look new again and a little bumpy and a little dodgy this wall was always calling for something pretty full on, just look at it, it is huge. It is a big undertaking and best done slowly, making sure all frames have those little hooks in the back will really help, something we learnt the hard way and had to remedy with small hooks and picture wire which was nothing short of a pain in the arse and only tripled the time it took to do this. The frames tip and wobble a bit and after a few weeks with vibrations from walking upstairs they do need to be pushed back in place with the broom for the high ones but I never regret doing this and have no intention of taking it down AT ALL! It is pretty hard to get bored with something like this as it can so easily be changed with new photos, new frames and new bits and bobs in between.

This is our "kitchen catch-all" from Ikea. I am not sure it was ever going to stand a chance to be used for chopping on. As you can see here it is being used for anything but that job, instead houses more junk but that in itself is a handy job in this house. We used it once or twice to wheel out and pop coffee cups and the kettle, milk, sugar etc on top when we had parties but that job too has been retired. None-the-less I love it and it fills the little void in the kitchen as well holding all the oily pots and pans and our white board and baby bottles and sippy cups and tissues and water bottles and you name it. I plan on painting it sometime in the near future as I am not the worlds greatest fan of birch and it does lend itself to some paint as it is totally unfinished and pretty raw when up close.

1. Bekvam Kitchen Trolley (Ikea) Birch $79.00 

So, I have been really slack in doing this and was at a friends house on the weekend and noticed she had her little girls height up on a sticky chart on the wall. Aside from the record of height in my kids Blue Books I hadn't recorded it anywhere else and coming from me that was really slack as I record everything. It didn't worry me drawing on the walls and I was going to do that until I saw some giant rulers on Etsy as well as the pull down height chart that the boys- Mike and Andrew had in their guest bedroom on The Block. I ended up getting this one from Domayne.

 

1. Domayne 2 meter Guage Wood Depth Ruler $79.95 

Like I always say, art needn't be expensive. This is a poster that I bought when I was at uni doing my under-grad. I can't exactly remember why posters were being sold at uni out on the playing field as random as that was but when this one caught my eye I needed to have it. It's Green Turban (Le Vert Jade) by Tamara De Lempicka and was about $10 from Blue Dog Posters, a far cry from the $200,000 someone recently paid for the original artwork. The poster size was pretty standard so the frame could be purchased ready made from a framer and way way back in 2003 it was only $20. Framing has now become a lot more expensive but don't settle for the little place that only does "custom" work. A lot of posters are standard large frame sizes so shop around and find someone that already has the frame ready made. You can even mount it yourself and save yourself even more money.

Sydney Art and Framing Supplies at Silverwater sell loads of ready made frames. They are grossly cheaper than getting a custom job. http://www.artandframing.com.au/

This lithograph was a 21st present from my brother. It's Salute to Five Bells by John Olsen with the poem Five Bells by Kenneth Slessor below which inspired the art work itself.

If you prefer to make your own art pieces for the house then a material covered canvas could be a good alternative to poster art. This is a large canvas from Bunnings covered in some Ikea fabric. The fabric choices are endless and Ikea are always updating their prints and patterns but don't be limited to Ikea. I discovered a while back that Spotlight have stepped up their game and have some great fabric choices too. I found that in years past it was pretty dire but their range is much better now and you could even try some textured fabric if you didn't like patterns and prints.

I love this picture of New York City. It pictures the Flatiron Building on Fifth Avenue in Manhattan NY and I could stare at it forever. It was originally hung in my brothers Newtown Cafe but now lives in my bedroom. It makes a great statement as it's huge. I'll let you guess where it's from...did you say Ikea? Bingo!

1. 1. Ikea Premiar Picture printed on polyester 200cmx140cm $249 

Don't be fooled, all those draws weren't nearly enough storage for my bathroom. It really left me no option but to indulge in my other obsession which is woven baskets. I'm sick for sea grass and these little numbers from Kmart that fit perfectly under my bathroom sink and cupboards are great for keeping the curling wand and straightener and hairdryer and hair brushes and all sorts of bathroom junk. Sadly the S-Bend stands in my way of filling the underneath section with 5 perfectly positioned baskets hence the odd gap.

Do you hate chrome shower caddies? I do! They claim to be non-rust but by merely being in the presence of water they seem to disintegrate and the rust has not gone down well with the grout in my shower. As a result of one too many shitty shower caddies the grout is now this rusty brown colour which no amount of harsh chemical can remove and while the orange plastic isn't really my colour I wasn't left with two many other options when it came to plastic hanging baskets from Hot Dollar. It was these or pink sparkly numbers. These baskets are $2.50 and can hold about 1000 times their own weight, just look at the collection of products above. They don't rust, are well out of the way giving me more space in my shower and hardly get wet because they are up so high.

This is another one of my great storage finds. The gap between the bath on the left and the shower screen on the right was only 34cm wide. Trying to find something to house even more junk was hard because nothing really fit in between this space. Prior to finding this storage unit I had another large woven basket there. It got wet and I won't make you sick with what happened when I picked it up one day and realised it probably should never have gotten wet.

I hunted high and low to find something narrow enough to fit in this space. I toyed with getting a tall narrow CD/DVD rack to hold all the items but this was the communal mummy/kid bathroom so unless I was going to nail the CD rack to the wall it wasn't the safest option. We had a CD rack in my husbands bathroom which was brilliant for holding creams and lotions and potions but was out of the way of the kids so it could easily be blocked off from little hands. I found this exact same storage unit which is chrome but funnily enough the non-rust chrome which they should probably have used in shower caddies and let me tell you it's been soaked to the core by little would-be bath swimmers and is still not yet rusted, on an online bathroom storage supplier for $90. I thought it was a bit steep so copy and pasted the product name into google and found the EXACT same one (picture above) at Office Works for $39.00. Bargain! It's a little rickety but for $39 who cares.

1. Office Works 5 Draw Chrome Trolley White $39.00

I am in love with Chevron and when I was trawling through the Target online store snapping up a bargin on their 1000 thread count sheets for 40% off I noticed they had this pillow on one of the beds in their pictures. I nearly fell off my chair. I had been tossing up whether to grab some chevron printed cushion covers from Etsy for a few weeks but when I found this available in Australia I was in chevron heaven. This cushion is only available instore and I was lucky enough to grab it for $9 also on sale. They have them in yellow, green, red and orange as well as a black and off-white chevron print too. Target actually had a pretty cool range of scatter cushions which I plan on keeping an eye on when next doing a cushion update.

When my bedside table touch lamp died a small part of me died too. Once you go touch lamp you won't want to go back to anything else. I hunted everywhere for the same touch lamp so we had matching ones, even sort of matching would do but I couldn't find anything in my budget or my taste. To Ikea I went. They didn't have touch lamps but they did have these cool work lamps. They were way out of my budget as well but when I saw them I couldn't resist. The tray underneath is a serving tray which helps to keep everything on the table and sticky fingers at bay.

1. Ikea Barometer work lamp $79.00
2. Ikea Klack tray $14.99

I'm always searching online before I make any purchase. As it was nearing the time when my little boy would graduate from the high chair to his own little table I went in search of something that would not only fit in with our furniture but that would stand the test of time. This doesn't actually fit in with our dining table and chairs at all but who cares, it's gorgeous and was really well priced and not much dearer than any of the other sets available. The table top is gloss 2pac MDF, I beg my children to try and dent this, it's heavy and super hard wearing. There are loads of online furniture stores that sell replica furniture both in adult and children size in various grades, some better than others. This set is from Glicks Furniture- http://www.glicksfurniture.com.au/.

1. Glicks Furniture- Charles Eames Childrens Replica Eiffel Table and 2 Chairs

Glicks Funiture- Childrens Replica Phillipe Starck Victoria Ghost Chair

My Tolix stool was one part ornamental one part impulse purchase but has come in such great use and gets used all day every day. This is another Glicks Furniture purchase.

1. Glicks Furniture- Xavier Pauchard Replica Stool

In addition to The Block, a lot of my inspiration for keeping my home bright and fresh and funky comes from the show Home by Novogratz and Nine By Design on Foxtel. It's my one home improvement TV program indulgence as all the others leave me totally uninspired. Both shows are centered around husband and wife design team Courtney and Bob Novogratz. These guys have 7 kids and have managed to build an amazing interior design empire. They are at the forefront of quirky home design and I love everything that they do. They mix old with new, luxe with less and are always unearthing an up and coming artist or showcasing some of the more left of centre artists that you rarely hear about. They will happily mix a $50 rug with a $40,000 desk but it's not about the $40,000 desk it's about a whole new look and approach to living that mixes prints and bold colours and modern design with antique pieces or pieces that you have bought back to life with a splash of colour DIY style. I love that! http://thenovogratz.com/

I should also credit Ikea given that half of what I own is an Ikea purchase and I love that the latest addition to the Ikea family in Tempe is about hmmm...15 minutes drive from here. I am always inspired and I have never ever left their store empty handed. They suck me in every time and I love it because I always come home with another few dollars worth of smiles plus a scatter cushion that I have to try and talk my way out or hide from my husband. I have never once had an issue with quality or with putting together an item or a missing bolt or screw or allen key. They will gladly exchange or refund which is a good thing in my books because sometimes things don't always look the way you planned them to look in your home and no one likes to be the owner of a thick shag pile poo brown rug with nowhere to put it.

A day of downward spirals.

I am finally somewhat resurfacing after a nasty bout of food poisoning and when I say nasty I mean real nasty, about as close to ambulances and stomach pumping as you can get.

My Monday was destined to slide into a steady decline, pure pure destiny. While I managed to get out of bed, breath, not trip down the stairs, eat breakfast and not choke it was basically in ruins from the time I decided I would do a work out in the garage. It had been one too many weeks off the diet and exercise train and I desperately needed to jump back on. Baby and I ate breakfast together, I had toast no butter and some creamed corn, she had some sort of half mash half puree concoction making the kinds of faces similar to those one might make when they suck on a lime or have a shot of Chartreuse, yet still opened her mouth and followed the spoon around for more. We played for a bit- row, row, row your boat, the babies on the bus, that kind of thing then it was time for her to go back to bed. I seized the opportunity to do my work out while she slept and while the big boy was at Grandma's house having a sleep over. Some sort of gym gear/threadbare type workout clothing that was now usually reserved for cleaning the shower with bleach was chucked on, there was no one to impress in this garage gym. Or so I thought.

I opened up the garage door to reverse the 4WD out and noticed a man with a lap top propped on my letter box at the end of the drive way. Oh my stupid pea brain that can't remember a thing! As usual, a million thoughts and things I should have remembered that would now impact on this situation start flooding back into my brain void of any memory. We had received a letter on Friday, though it could have arrived considerably earlier in the week as we avoid the letter box like the plague (it rarely brings good news) regarding the replacement of an outdated meter in our electrical meter box. The replacement would occur on Monday-Today, between 7-9am, it was now 1030am go figure. The replacement would cost us nothing, wow, that’s a first Ausgrid, but the power would be off during the replacement period. Awesome, absolutely awesome.


I reverse the car and turn it off but I don't get out straight away. I just sit, pondering nothing, head full of mush, just sit. I should get out of the car; he probably thinks I'm some weirdo. He walks around to the passenger side to look through the window and I get out slowly, I should say something, speak, even a hello would do. He says hi and introduces himself. I know exactly who he is. I had made my husband ring the number provided on the letter on Saturday morning to enquire about exactly what it was that they were going to do. Energy Australia and Ausgrid and anything to do with electricity just really don’t mix well with me, I've watched far too much garbage on A Current Affair and have had my brain poisoned by people interviewed on the program who claim their lives have been ruined by Smart Meters, that since they were installed they have had strange headaches and sky rocketing power bills. I didn't need any more headaches, I had a long waiting list of headaches just waiting to infect my brain and I certainly didn't need another single cent added to my already revoltingly expensive power bill sitting on the fridge waiting to be paid in fortnightly instalments because the final amount can't possibly be paid in one hit.


He explains that the power is going to be off for about ten minutes but first he needs to record some stuff down. "Yep, yep no worries", I act all cool and polite but meanwhile all I can think of is the baby monitor that is on right next to the sleeping baby's head on my bedside table that once power is cut starts beeping frantically so you know it's no longer working, the temperamental dishwasher that has been known to trigger the safety switch in the meter box and shut down all power to the house, the fact that I will now be doing a workout in the garage in the dark. Oh for crying out loud. Why me!?

 

Still trying to remain cool I tell him that if he needs anything just ring the door bell, but what sort of mother with a sleeping baby upstairs does that? It's not entirely his fault, unless he was going to use Morse Code on the garage door then he didn't really have any other options. I race upstairs to turn the monitor off as well as the white noise on the radio that soothes her to sleep, she stays asleep, a win for me, perhaps I can get this workout done with all this chaos going on around me. I turn the dishwasher off mid cycle and remind myself that I need to make a note that the cleaning cycle isn't finished and that once the power is back on I need to turn it back on so when darling husband comes home he knows not to take out and put away half cleaned dishes, I forget.

Back to the gym/garage I turn on some music on my iphone and get started. The power goes off, baby stays asleep and it's all looking peachy. I get one and a half sets of my routine done and I'm working up a sweat, perhaps this day will work out after all....Ahhh no. I hear him opening and slamming the lid to the meter box a few times conscious that the meter box is right below our bedroom where baby is sleeping. I start to wonder whether it would kill the dude to just close it softly, those things make a seriously racket when they are let go to slam shut repeatedly and then comes the sound of the power returning. If you've ever been inside your house when someone flicks the switch on the meter box for power to return it's a slightly alarming, slightly out of this world noise particularly when you've had a whole range of electrical devices running that all start humming away at once only this time the loss and return of power cause the door bell to start chucking a fit and the ducted vacuum starts sucking on its own. What they? And then baby wakes up.


I race upstairs and try and rock her back to sleep. I just need another 10 minutes to finish off at least one more set of the workout and then it will have been worth all the fuss. I lay on the bed next to the bassinet hoping to just melt into the bed so she doesn't see me but that's useless because the Ausgrid guy rings the doorbell and you can hear my door bell from China. It's the kinds of door bell that I imagine one would have in a mansion with 15 bedrooms so you can hear it ding dong from three quarters of a mile away. I want to throw myself down the stairs. I leave her and race to the garage and open the garage roller door because I can't find my house keys, why can't I ever find my house keys? I ask him what he has done but I don't even know why I do because it's not like it was something I asked for or even something I had any control over. I do however want to know whether the power readings will be more accurate in the hope that perhaps they have been wrong all along and my power bill will be drastically cheaper. He explains something about calibration, I can appreciate calibration but after that I drift off as usual, my brain shuts down and I have difficulty retaining information. Why does this always happen? I have to start to listen more and take note of what people tell me. It's beginning to become a problem.


Baby! I have to go, that’s right baby is awake upstairs. He smiles, says goodbye and trots off down the driveway rolling his little cart and laptop behind him ready to start opening and slamming some more electrical meter box lids on the house down the road. Baby is wide awake and should really be asleep but there’s too much fuss gone down now to try and get her back to sleep, I may as well shower and get ready to go shopping with my mum.

Now all of this crap happens in a pretty short amount of time and isn't really that much of a big deal in the scheme of things. Baby has been woken mid nap before, it's not the end of the world, I have started and not been able to finish a workout amongst many, many, many, many, many, many other things as a mother of two small and at times totally unpredictable children so it's no biggie in comparison to times I've cancelled catch ups, lunches and dinners at the last undying minute because of a child related problem but it does subconsciously send my day into a further downward spiral. Nothing I try on looks good, I'm having a massive fat day and piles of clothes and shoes get dumped inside the walk-in. I end up pulling out a pair of jeans from the dirty clothes basket that I had told myself I wasn't going to wear today as they are the "safe option" and I am sick of wearing the "safe option" all the time and want to wear something different. They were also dirty, with a little bit of mud off big boy’s shoes, not major dirt, it could have been wiped off and I could have folded them and put them back in my cupboard but it was easier to just throw them into the dirty clothes.

I throw on an oversized jumper, I also pledged to stop wearing those things as they too are on the "safe options" list. While they hide a full manner of sins they only act to make you look about 30kg heavier but I am mega late to meet mum. It's now 12:45pm, I am meant to be at mums place at 1pm. Mum lives 40 minutes away so unless I am about to teleport myself and the baby I am going to be about 1 hour late. Now 15-20 minutes late is ok but an hour is just plan ridiculous and rude. I message mum, tap my magic wand, throw everything into the car, dress baby and quickly try and feed her. Just as I am about to leave I glance over the cupboard to see if there is anything I can grab for lunch. Nothing jumps at me so I leave the option of eating anything for lunch at home and borderline speed to get to mums with just a little bit of grace intact.


Half way there I start to feel really hungry. It's been 6 hours since I last ate something but my options are truly awful- McDonalds, McDonalds and McDonalds. I refrain, it’s garbage food and I won’t eat it. As I start to roll towards the last pit stop before mums I contemplate whether I should just pull into the servo and grab a yoghurt. I decide it's probably a good idea, I won't eat at mums, I'm late, we are going shopping, stopping means I need to take out the baby from the car, feed her before she gets back into the car, it will just prolong everything so a servo snack it is. I run in and dart around looking for a healthy or even remotely healthy option. There are chocolate, chips, soft drink from floor to ceiling and one poor sad and lonely egg and lettuce sandwich sitting in an open cooler section. On closer inspection that sad sandwich is crusty and could well have been there for more than 24 hours. No thank you! So I'm forced into the McDonalds Express in the same servo complex. I really really don't want to do this but there is nothing left. Our shopping destinations for jewellery making bits and pieces aren't anywhere near anywhere that sells food and I just want something small to tie me over till dinner. Kilojoule counts are next to every item on the Maccas menu, numbers and letters and dollar signs everywhere and I'm confused. It's just one big giant mess that is there to confuse you but I really want to make a healthy decision about what I am going to eat. I decide to get a chicken wrap, it appears to be the healthiest way to go and I don't have much time left to compare kilojoule counts anymore.


I wolf it down and try and hide a decision I am unhappy with in the back of my mind. I get to mums and we load into the car towards our first destination. It's about 10 minutes into our journey that baby starts to express her shear distaste for being in the car by crying really quite loudly but this crying is a bit different to the usual whinging and I start to think perhaps she's not feeling so crash hot. We make it to the first shop and have a squizz at the beads and jewellery making options. Baby stinks! Nappy change! Nappy change on busy major Sydney road! I pull out a world full of crap, pram seats, pram, box full of baby carriers, a baby swing (don't ask) nappy bag and chuck it onto the road beside me and make room to lay baby down in the boot for a nappy change. Meanwhile cars and trucks and buses fly past me and I hope that by me changing a baby's nappy in the boot doesn't distract someone from watching the road and they veer into my car. I'm always worried about that but sadly nappy change areas are not always that easy to find inside a jewellery and bead store so the boot on the side of a busy road is my only option. Nappy change done, boot repacked, but baby is still sad.


Exhausting isn't it? Perhaps baby is hungry so I give her a jar of baby food standing next to her capsule, car door open, still on the busy road, while my poor mum sits in the passenger seat, our shopping trip isn't going quite as planned. Baby wolfs down her food a bit like my regretful chicken wrap and I'm praying this is the magic to settle her so we can have a good look around a button store I have been absolutely dying to visit for yonks. The crying escalates, my blood pressure rises and I try desperately to concentrate on both driving and trying to hold a conversation with mum. No shushing, stroking her head or soothingly calling her name will stop the crying and I decide that it's best to just axe this trip and go home. She's hysterical, I call darling husband and ask him to call our GP to see if I can squeeze into the doctors this afternoon and not the day after as I had booked prior.


She hasn't been herself for a while now so I booked in to see our GP the following day in case there's something going on that I can't see or in all my infinite mummy wisdom I’m missing...ear infection, UTI, throat infection etc. I'm pretty good on the self diagnosis, minor home emergency room/operating theatre with my small first aid kit on myself and the husband but babies are a bit different and best left to the professionals. They will see us today I just need to get from the busy Sydney road back to mums, drop mum off, back onto busy Sydney road and to the doctors. I zoom back to mums, the darling husband makes it there too just before I leave to pick up the big boy and take him home, I kiss the family goodbye and then zoom back off to the GP. By now she is beyond hysterical but I have grown somewhat immune to the perils of a screaming baby in Sydney traffic when you’re a long long way from your destination and while I am worried about her and just want to stop and take her out of the car seat and give her a cuddle I need to get to the doctor before it closes and its nearly 4pm.


We make it there, he sees us but even he can't be sure what is causing the distress. Ears seem a little inflamed but not the usual infected appearance. We chat about a number of baby related bits and bobs as he tries to ascertain what could be the cause and we both decide that antibiotics are the way to go. I like the way we make a joint decision. He's a good GP, he knows us well. I like him a lot.


I take baby home put her to bed and decide that I might just sit down. It's been a frantic day and I was pretty worried about her for a while there but I've had way worse days with far more concerning health issues and just pray that it's a minor ear infection and that in a week or so she'll be back to good. And then my stomach rumbles. Oh dear god why? It's not a good rumbling. I've gone longer without food, you get used to that being insanely busy like I am most days, but this wasn't my stomach telling me it's hungry this was the rumble from hell. I ignore it and go into denial. When I know something is upon me that I don't necessarily want to accept I deny deny deny. But my denial only acts to save me from complete doom for a while and the rumble gets worse. I start to feel all fuzzy headed and cold then hot then cold. "Why is the air con not on, it's bloody freezing" I yell, "It is honey" says the husband from upstairs. I'm cold really cold, this isn't looking good.


I stare through the TV, I can't even focus on that anymore, my poor overloaded unable to think or remember anything brain is telling me something isn't right and that perhaps something I ate today isn't agreeing with me. That happens from time to time and usually doesn't pose too much of a problem but not tonight buddy. Like a baseball bat to the head I am sick. Now this isn't sick like one might imagine. This is sick from head to toe like your organs are trying to burst through your skin, like your ribs want to splinter like tooth picks, it's an awful gut wrenching heaving, wanting to die feeling. It goes on and on and on then stops. Yippee, thank god, minor disaster averted. Thank you Man upstairs for being kind to me I’ve had gastro 3 times in 12 months, once while pregnant, once lasting more than 2 weeks with 2 months of temporary lactose intolerance, I don’t need anymore stomach upsets thank you, thank you, thank you. I feel calm and so much better but still so very hungry so I have some water and some toast. Still feel good so I have some plain pasta just to tie me over.


Oh noooooo, it hits me again. This time worse, worse than splintering bones. Every joint and muscle in my body is filled with hand grenades and they are all going off at once. I drag myself up to the bath to warm up after half an hour downstairs dying in the bathroom. I am freezing, I haven't been this cold since I went to Perisha without a scarf, beanie or gloves. By this time I am close to passing out, I start getting the cold tingly feeling in your fingers just before you faint. I trip and nearly lose my footing twice bumping into the bathroom sink. My skin is so pale it's translucent and I lay down in bed. Darling husband says “I think you need to go to the hospital babe, you look really bad”. The heaving continues and I think I am going to well and truly pass out now. "I'm calling an ambulance" "no I don't want to go to hospital". I don't want to go to emergency, I just couldn't think of anything worse but maybe I might need to? I grab some maxolon that I still had lying around from when I had gastro and morning sickness when pregnant but I can't keep even water down and even the maxolon gets flushed. Not sure whether I should have more I yell "I need an ambulance." It's really bad now my ears are ringing, I feel terribly unwell, it's torturous.


The husband is walking around holding the poor old bubba, she’s awake and witness to all this drama as she won't let us put her down as she too is not in a good place again. He grabs the phone and asks me who to call to look after the kids while we go to hospital. Too much to think of, too much drama, too late, too stressful, just too much too's! I decide to stay home and wait it out here till the morning but tell him to ring my mum to get her to come over and help look after the kids the next day, the husband has a huge 3 hour presentation to give to his boss who’s flown up from Melbourne the next morning and is also picking her up from the airport too. Can you believe my timing? Can you believe how epic it would be if he called her at 9pm at night to cancel all this…see you later job if he did but I need someone to help me, I can’t even help myself let alone look after two small children. This is serious though and when things get real bad who you gonna call?? Your mum of course!


The night is long, I toss and turn and sit up and down and freeze then burn up. At one point my temperature goes up past 38.5 and I lay there on the bed with a face washer cooling me down all the while my feet are cramping because I’m pretty sure all blood flow to them has ceased and the temperature in my veins is well below freezing point. I'm not in a good way, I don't do sick and this is about as sick as I think I've been in a long while, not even the gastro was this bad, it’s about as close to the pain I feel during labour if I had to compare it.

The next morning I wake up and feel revolting. I am beyond tired, I have to breast feed a baby and look after my spirited little man. The husband leaves for work and I lay dormant on the lounge waiting for mum to get here to help. She arrives, I take baby, put her back to bed and go and have a sleep myself. When I wake up it’s like nothing ever happened, I feel a million dollars compared to just two hours ago but I clearly haven’t learnt from the previous nights episodes and that this thing hasn’t gone yet. While I don’t dare have something to eat I tell mum it’s ok to leave, she has an appointment to go to, I will be right with the kids.

Not a minute after she leaves I feel the aching bone crunching pain coming back like a silent tidal wave. The panadol I had taken before my sleep is wearing off at a rate of nots and I am yet again rendered useless. Getting up off the tile floor after feeding baby in her play centre is hurting me even thinking about it now. I have to have someone help me, I can’t adequately and safely look after these children on my own, I should have gone to hospital, I should have had my stomach pumped or had some IV fluids or IV maxolon or something IV for Christ sake. I call the husband and tell him that I need someone to come home now. I can’t be sure how this afternoon is going to pan out without another adult here. “I’m leaving in 20 minutes” Awesome, thank god, I was starting to think I might need to do an SOS. 40 minutes later I ring “where are you?” I’m leaving now, ahhh shit, men and their timing but he is home so quick that it’s scary.


I lay on the lounge and pull the blanket over my head. The little man jumps all over me, each step feels like he weighs 400kg’s but I don’t even have energy to tell him to jump off. Another 24 hours rolls on through and then another and now here I am. I am finally feeling back to about 80%. I don’t feel like eating, food scares me and I look at everything that I think about putting in my mouth wondering what it’s going to do to my insides. Maybe tomorrow I might even be back to about 92.3% and the day after 100%. As far as I am concerned I better be, it’s my first child free night out in more than 7 months.

As for now, I plan on writing a letter to McDonald’s Australia. You know me, always wanting to write letters to get my point across. I feel this case of food poisoning certainly warrants it. If they are going to dish out food that is so potent then be it unto me to pass on the news with a strongly worded letter. Hopefully I save someone else from getting as sick as I did or even worse. Just another day in the life of Mrs C. Oh, and the dishes got put away half clean- oops and the dish washer sat full of water for a few days too- double oops!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two Pink Lines

A lot of people ask me why I decided to have two children so close in age, actually that's a lie, a lot of people say "wow, you're keen, you must have been busy, so close in age, they must keep your hands full?" I feel like saying "are you asking me why, do you want to know why I had two kids so close together, I'm happy to answer?" Well, there was a number of reasons but the one that really was the deciding factor was that I was dying to add another little life to our family. You just know when you are ready, you really do. My son was a dream baby overall, he had his moments and I had mine but by the time I was full swing back into work, things were just cruising along really nicely so we thought, yeah lets fuck this up and make it hell crazy busy with another baby. No, thats a joke, nothing was fucked up at all, in fact I was beyond excited perhaps even more than last time because I knew a little more than I did before and was more prepared for being pregnant, labour and a new baby. Life at home was wonderful, my son was sleeping well, no issues there, we had feeding troubles with him and he was sick a lot with day care germs but I knew those troublesome periods wouldn't last forever. Our home life was great, our marriage strong and we had a good balance of work and family stuff down pat so we felt it was time, kinda of like lets do this now before something comes up and makes it perhaps not so timely or even impossible to have another baby.


I found out I was pregnant with baby number 2 just before Easter, in fact I found out 2 days before I was due to get on a plane for the first time with a 9 month old and fly to Townsville for a family holiday. Special mention goes to the flight time of 6am- 6am people, yep 6am! What idiot books a 6am flight with a baby, oh yeah, me! I did a pregnancy test right on the cusp on when you should do one but I knew in me bones that I was pregnant, I just needed confirmation. I actually went and bought one on my lunch break at work as I just couldn't wait any longer. Those 4 hours between starting work and lunch time, walking up the road and trying to make sure I bought the test without anyone that I worked with seeing me felt like I was treading through quick sand. Time was standing still and of course, as does occur each day at our work, the questions about where you're eating lunch, who's walking up the road, who needs something from Woolies fly freely and meanwhile I'm thinking god-dammit I just need to escape, run up the road as if invisible and not have anyone come with me, how can I do that and not look like I am up to something or being insanely rude. I had walked up the road with someone from work for the last 6 years and today I needed the last 6 years worth of history to piss off.

As fate would have it I end up walking up with one of my oldest girlfriends and work colleagues. After 10 years of friendship she can smell a "situation" in my life a mile away. She goes to Subway, I sneak into Woolies. I am pretty sure I am safe but my radar for work friends is on and it's set to high alert. I grabbed a few other things so I could hide the test under them when I put them on the conveyer belt- what's the name of that thing anyway? Supermart counter register conveyor sliding thing? Yeah that's it. I escape Woolies safely and go do the test. It comes up positive straight away, I needed to call my husband immediately. I end up finding a quiet corner facing the wall near the Westfield's centre management and you'd be forgiven for thinking I was up to no good whispering into the phone looking dodgy as hell but I am one of those people that has a penchant for talking about someone just as they so happen to walk right up behind me as I say "oh god she has been such a bitch today hey?" so I thought if I was about to starting talking babies I needed to make sure no one was going to hear that might tell someone else that would tell someone else that I know and that I work with.


The following day I had a rostered day off work and just to be sure I did 3 more tests and just to be super super sure I did them all in the same day. All positive! And just to be a freak because I am totally a sucker for punishment I went to the GP to do yet another test. The only problem this time was my regular GP was away on holidays so I had to see the only other private doctor available that day. Ok, so this GP, he's a great old guy but he'd be about 75 in the shade and not so sharp anymore. He's all there, don't get me wrong, he's a very intelligent clever man as most doctors are but he wasn't firing on all cylinders this day. The story goes a little like this. We sit down, me this 29 year old young gun and he this ageing Australian born Chinese man and we starting talking periods and dates. He's just not getting me, we aren't agreeing on dates and it's all just turning to shit. So I ask if we can just do a test and he tells me no, it's way too early despite the fact my period is about 4 days late and I'm like clock work baby, get out your watches.


Utterly deflated despite the 4 tests I had already done, I tell him that I am about to go on a flight to Townsville, I'd really like him to do a test to shut me up and I'd be really appreciative if he'd oblige. He goes and gets the test, I come back with the sample and he attempts to take out the pipette from its sterile wrapper to put a little bit of wee onto the square test spot, he spills it. Farrk me dead, I'm dying here. He wipes it down with gloved hands and a cloth. Meanwhile I'm thinking really, perhaps you should get another test, might you not have inadvertedly upset the delicate harmony and integrity of that test by manhandling it in such a way? He tried again taking one tiny little speck of wee that one might have only been able to see under a microscope and putting it on the test, he shakes it and yet again I'm sitting there thinking, don't do that, stop that, you're flicking specs of wee everywhere and I'm pretty sure it's not a juice bottle with all the pulp at the bottom, just set the friggen thing down on the bench and leave it. NEGATIVE! Get stuffed! I was totally gutted.


By this time I am in Townsville and I'm pissed. I'm positive I'm pregnant, it's now 7 days since I should have had a period, I am a million miles away from my regular GP and I just want a definitive answer that comes from a professional and not out of a box. So, I buy more tests, I know I make no sense do I! This time I buy a digital test, another one of the usual pee on a stick and wait for the pink lines test and one of the basic litmus style tests just for shits and giggles. By now darling husband is a bit like "honey don't you think you've spent enough money on tests?" I probably had, 7 tests x about $10, yep, I think that was enough. ALL POSITIVE. I lay the tests to rest and am certain that I am pregnant, I get all the signs and 7 tests can't be wrong so I enjoy the rest of the holiday. UNTIL MY SON GETS HAND FOOT AND MOUTH DISEASE. Can you hear me saying that in your head with a slightly higher pitch than normal, slightly slower than one might normally speak, kind of like the way a person talks just before they chuck a whitey and pass out? Poor baby was about as sick as I think I've ever seen a person, flaming temperature, covered in gross little spots head to toe, literally, hand foot and mouth spots really do appear on the soles of feet and palms of hands disgusting little disease that it is. So we go in the hunt for a doctor in Townsville on a public holiday. He gets worse and so we yet again venture off to find another doctor, one a little more thorough and again the whole pregnancy test thing comes up, I can't waste this opportunity.


Sitting in the waiting room I ask my husband whether I should get this GP to do a test for me. I run up to the receptionist and ask if I can just squeeze in with my son, my issue won't take long. We get called in and are seen by this gorgeous Indian doctor. She's beautiful, so heartfelt, so caring, so well spoken and I take the opportunity to ask if she'd just do a test for me one last time. I explain the previous situation of the test being shaken like a juice bottle, she seems somewhat confused by this and happily obliges. There was no shaking juice bottles on this occasion. Everything is well above board. While we wait for the result we chat about our occupations, holidays, Greek Easter, stuff like that but it's all just background noise to me, a bit like when you talk at someone and not to them and they shut off and their brain stops working. Despite all those tests that I had done I was still somewhat troubled by the one the other doctor did and his words "you're definitely not pregnant" kept echoing in my mind. I couldn't let it rest until we'd done one properly.


I still remember her looking at me and the sound of her voice to this day and when she say's those words "you're definitely pregnant" my smile is from ear to ear, I can literally feel my lips and mouth touching the sides of my face. I'll never forget those words. I was beaming. All I wanted was a professional to tell me what I had known all along, coming from a background in science I needed the hard facts. She then proceeds to tell me that the store bought tests work on the same technology as the ones that the doctors use and are just as accurate. Lesson learnt.


I took my sick bubba home to Sydney and spent a little time processing the news. I took some time just to be, to get my boy back to being better, to unpack from our holiday which in itself required a holiday from unpacking from the holiday and decided that I should go and consult with my regular GP, call the hospital, book in and get started back on the pregnant train again.


I love being pregnant and can I tell you why. You can eat everything that you want, anyone that says you can't is a liar and should leave your breathing space immediately, unless of course you have a medical condition that requires you to be on a diet or not gain a revolting amount of weight like I did, then of course, follow the rules and don't listen to me, you can sleep as long as you want, you have an excuse for absolutely everything, you get special attention, you get to wear elasticated pants and it be totally acceptable fashion, you basically get away with anything that your heart desires and it's wonderful. I was blessed not to have any major health issues while being pregnant and let me tell you there's a shit load that can go wrong. I was sick most of the time with colds and coughs but nothing major. I had also decided to again not find out the sex of the baby and keep it a suprise. As many of you know if all is going well with your pregnancy you get basically one opportunity to find out the sex of the baby, once that opportunity is gone it's not that easy to get another. Not unless you get gastro are admitted to hospital stuck on IV fluids and a whole range of other drugs and an ultrasound is performed to make sure baby is ok.


Now this wasn't life threatening, you can get gastro while pregnant and baby will be ok, the drugs not ideal in my opinion but safe during pregnancy none-the-less and essential to keep fluids down. After nearly 10 hours of sitting, laying, standing and pacing around the hospital I finally get taken in for an ultrasound. Two young doctors accompany me and ask if it is ok if they observe. I was dying for them to just show me that baby was ok so I didn't really care who saw my stretch marked belly. They are all happy faced and I think, if they thought something was wrong then surely there wouldn't be any smiling faces. I felt calmed. The sonographer asks me if I know what we are having and I told her we decided not to find out, she asks me if I want to know and in a split second a million thoughts rush through my head. Prior to our Morphology scan (18-20 week scan performed to exclude any structural abnormality) we had 18 weeks to decided whether we'd find out and all of a sudden in an instance that question is posed to me again. This time though I don't have my husband to discuss the matter with, the poor guy was stuck way out in god knows where, some bush track North of Sydney on some stupid work conference that his boss wouldn't let him leave. I did have a little life savour in the form of my girlfriend in the waiting room who wasn't allowed to come in and keep me company, I know boo to you hospital administrators, so I was flying totally solo, no one, nothing, I needed to make a quick decision, pick one lady, yes, no, what is it?  I start to wonder whether those 18 weeks worth of deciding was the right decision actually made? If I found out maybe I could start to plan the nursery decor a bit better, I could start to buy some cothes in colours other than white, white and did I say white? Ah, dam, I'm sick, I feel utterly wretched, gastro ain't something I'd wish on my worst enemy, I need something to make me feel better, come on tell me...Mrs C, you're having a girl!


I started thinking of hair ties and bows and cute little elastics. How I longed to one day have a little girl so that I could tie her hair up into a little palm tree ontop of her head. I was beyond over the moon and stars and sun and I couldn't wait to tell everyone. All those weeks of not wanting to know and then not knowing and being ok with not knowing out the door because move over lady it's time to sort out a nursery for a girl.


I had great pleasure putting together my sons nursery in fairly unisex colours of red and white. I hand picked little pieces along my travels but was always concious of not making anything too gender specific. This time I went to town. Everything would be pink and two minutes ago I hated pink. Well not now I didn't I was having a girl and girls wore pink! I didn't do hot pink, I don't do hot pink, no one should do it in my opinion it should be a colour reserved for toe nail polish and highlighter fluid and not a great deal else. The world has been very kind to little girls, there is so much to chose from, the variety of clothes, soft furnishings, bedding, pictures and accessories is endless and I was loving all the options. I found bird cages and put little lamps in them, a little mobile made from wood and felt birds, I printed and framed pictures of chandeliers, a mother and baby giraffe, a brother and sister running and holding hands in the woods and bubushka dolls to adorne the walls. I made my husband paint no less than 4 coats of Dulux half strength Fair Bianca on the walls and started to fill her wardrobe with cute little items of clothing I picked up on my travels. I'd also been blessed beyond belief by amazing friends and family who showered us with gorgeous little presents fit for a princess. No expense was spared and considerable thought and effort was put into a beautiful baby shower hosted by my darling girlfriend and a bridesmaid in my wedding, the same little life savour that sat for hours in the cold waiting room while I was prodded and poked in hospital just so I knew someone was there for me, as well as all the food and presents that I received on the day. It formed a gorgeous tribute and collection to our little girl just waiting to arrive.


And what a brilliant entrance she made but you'll have to wait to hear that one a little later on...