M.I.A again I know I know!
I feel like writing things to the tune of "where does time go?", "how does time go so quickly?" bla bla, blanket statement about time flying when it has gone at the same pace for eternity. I sound like such an old biddy when I say "time flies", but it kind of has...
Tomorrow is my little girls first day of kindy. We call child care "kindy" in this house. It sounds way cuter than child care. The words "child care" sound sterile to me, "kindy" seems far sweeter. As a result of her graduation from stay-at-home-baby to kindy baby I have spent the last few days and weeks getting us all prepared for the new chapter in our life. Her starting kindy is a big deal for me. I have a very real sense of a door closing and another opening. Tomorrow will be just as much a big day for her as it will be for me. I know many people who have made comments that a baby's first day at child care or kindy if I may, is harder for the parent than it is for the baby or child. I wonder how many babies would concur with this statement? I don't know many who could engage in a in-depth discussion over it. I know for a fact that this is going to be a massive almighty transition for my little girl. She is mega attached to mummy. She is a massive mummies girl and quite frankly I like it that way. It doesn't mean she tones down her general distaste for most things other than food or food or food, for me, it doesn't mean she settles or sleeps any better when I am around, oh no, she ain't afraid to let me know when shit has hit her little fan, but what she really doesn't take lightly to is my absence. There are days I can't even get up to walk to the other side of the room without her erupting in fear that this action may mean I leave for eternity and never come back. She, is not going to like this one little bit.
As such, I won't start work until a week from tomorrow. I need to help her embrace this new chapter with the ability to run to her rescue when she needs me. Yeah, yeah, I can't do that when I am at work, why prolong the inevitable you say and I say shut up to you hmm hmm, but right now I can. I can take this week to just be there for her when she needs me while also making this as easy on her and on us as a family as possible. She is sensitive and precious and needs to know that this needn't be frightening forever.
In order to get this whole kindy thing happening and also at least feed her once a day I need to make the hour round trip from home to kindy to home about 3 times tomorrow. My darling husband suggested that I just sleep in the car. I suggested that perhaps the elves and the fairies can do the house work, the shopping, the washing, make dinner and re-pot a few dead and or dying plants in my absence? Perhaps those elves and fairies might just wax his eyebrows off in his sleep if he weren't careful throwing around such oh so impossible ideas again. I have no idea what I will do with my day tomorrow as I have no idea how in between doing those 3 x 1 hour trips I will have the chance to do anything other than just drive and then get out of the car at home stare at the walls unable to make a conscious decision and then get back in the car again and drive. Perhaps I should just sleep in the car??
Tuesday seems like it might not be so much like I am imprisoned in my car but it does mean at very least 2 round trips. Wednesday might be just one and if there is a god he will ensure that it is just one. I still need to rearrange my life so that we can all take a trip to my mums for the weekend, the "just sleep in your car" dude and I are going to a really fancy shamcy dinner in the city sans children and then need to repack the car like we've driven half way across the Americas when we've really only had one night at mums and get my shit sorted to get up at the crack of dawn Monday to restart my life as a working mother of two. The week ahead will be the busiest of my life. In amongst all of this I need to stick by my dad at his darkest of darkest hours. He needs my strength and my courage and my ability to solider on more than he ever will in his life. I need to take the bull by the horns and keep it together for everyone.
While I am tired, I am motivated and ready and anxious for this next chapter to start. I am ready to return to work, I am ready to be a confident mother who can get things done while still having fun with my kids.
Bring it on baby!
